Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
