Who wears a wallet chain?!
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
