so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
