I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
