Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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