My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
