Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I have post one night stand depression
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