I CAN MOONWALK!
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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