I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
