spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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