spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize