I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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