the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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