I molested 6 butterflies tonight
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
