how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Randomize
