i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
is it fun? or sober?
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
