North Korea, Best Korea!
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
porn star boner night. come get it.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
