I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
You pole danced in your parka.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
