I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize
