What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
