Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
