what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
