Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
