Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
