what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
porn star boner night. come get it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
