nut hugger
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
