So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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