We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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