Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
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