you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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