thus making me awesome and them whores
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
