You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
