I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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