i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
