Joe is yelling at the trees again.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
