well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
