hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
