So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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