did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
