i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Randomize
