He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
