I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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