we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
