Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
