Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
