can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
