You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
