NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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