3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
