It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
