So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
