Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
