omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
