Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize