where am i from again
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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