Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
