I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
