There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
