her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
