Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
You may now shotgun with the bride
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Randomize