its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
